The Family Speaks

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Thank you for visiting “The Family Speaks” where we give a voice to Victims of Violence. Please read the following statements from Families of Victims of Murder and if you are a Family Member of a Victim of this devastation, please share your wisdom by leaving a reply/comment to this page by submitting your comment in the form at the bottom of the page. We Honor Your Journey…
“We live in a culture that is blind to betrayal and intolerant of emotional pain. In New Age crowds here on the West Coast, where your attitude is considered the sole determinant of the impact an event has on you, it gets even worse.In these New Thought circles, no matter what happens to you, it is assumed that you have created your own reality. Not only have you chosen the event, no matter how horrible, for your personal growth. You also chose how you interpret what happened—as if there are no interpersonal facts, only interpretations.

The upshot of this perspective is that your suffering would vanish if only you adopted a more evolved perspective and stopped feeling aggrieved. I was often kindly reminded (and believed it myself), “there are no victims.” How can you be a victim when you are responsible for your circumstances?

When you most need validation and support to get through the worst pain of your life, to be confronted with the well-meaning, but quasi-religious fervor of these insidious half-truths can be deeply demoralizing. This kind of advice feeds guilt and shame, inhibits grieving, encourages grandiosity and can drive you to be alone to shield your vulnerability.”
― Sandra Lee Dennis

“It’s kind of the yin and yang that fascinate me. That for all the evil men do, there are also people who work obnoxiously long hours and sacrifice their personal lives because it is a calling – if they don’t keep our streets safe, if they aren’t there to advocate for and save beaten women and children and murder victims, who will?”
-Lisa Gardner

“And this shows that people want to be stupid and they do not want to know the truth. And it shows that something called Occam’s razor is true. And Occam’s razor is not a razor that men shave with but a Law, and it says: Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. Which is Latin and it means: No more things should be presumed to exist than are absolutely necessary. Which means that a murder victim is usually killed by someone known to them and fairies are made out of paper and you can’t talk to someone who is dead.”
Mark Haddon

“The word survivor suggests someone who has emerged alive from a plane crash or a natural disaster. But the word can also refer to the loved ones of murder victims, and this was the sense in which it was used at a four-day conference in early June at Boston College.”
-Godfried Danneels

“In a world full of war, famine, oppression, deceit, monotony, what—apart from the eternal innocence of animals—offers an image of hope? A mother with a newborn child in her arms? The child may end up as a murderer or a murder victim, so that the hopeful image is a prefiguration of a pietà: a mother with her newly dead child on her lap.”
-Harry Mulisch

“According to FBI statistics for 2008, only 22 percent of murder victims were killed by strangers. More than 30 percent were slain by family members, boyfriends, and girlfriends. Nearly half of all murders were committed by friends, neighbors, and casual acquaintances.”
-Alafair Burke

“The idea that murder victims’ families are best served by continuing the cycle of violence is something that I consider to be not only a lie, but criminally negligent. You lie to victims’ families when you tell them they’re going to receive closure if they participate in the process and witness the execution of a human being.”
-Steve Earle

“I’m done with the shows about “women got murdered by husband.” My wife watches them constantly, but it makes me want to kill myself. They serve no purpose. They’re not news shows. They just exploit all of these murder victims.”
-Billy Lawrence

“I will not stand by and see murder happen around me any longer. I can’t heal from my own tragedy because the reality of another parent, another sibling, or another family suffering through this astronomical atrocity, brings my heartbreak back to the surface again, and I must heal all over again. Murder happens every day, almost every hour, and the news media loves to make money off our suffering. I won’t stand for this another moment longer without fighting against it.”
-Aasia Gale Stormm, Feed My Sheep Outreach Inc.

“To those who abuse: the sin is yours, the crime is yours, and the shame is yours. To those who protect the perpetrators: blaming the victims only masks the evil within, making you as guilty as those who abuse. Stand up for the innocent or go down with the rest.”
― Flora Jessop, Church of Lies

“Violators cannot live with the truth: survivors cannot live without it. There are those who still, once again, are poised to invalidate and deny us. If we don’t assert our truth, it may again be relegated to fantasy. But the truth won’t go away. It will keep surfacing until it is recognized. Truth will outlast any campaigns mounted against it, no matter how mighty, clever, or long. It is invincible. It’s only a matter of which generation is willing to face it and, in so doing, protect future generations from ritual abuse.”
― Chrystine Oksana, Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide for Survivors of Ritual Abuse

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